This is by no means the first day of my journey through weight loss. I wouldn't even say this is my hundredth day, I've been working on weight loss, on and off, since I was a junior in high school a good 7 1/2 years ago. Back in the day I had more umph, I'm sure. But in my journey I've realized that I need not to focus on who I WAS, but who I want to become. From day one, to day whatever it is now, I've learned a lot about myself and my dedication in general. I might have had some major falls, where I gained a good 70 lbs in five years, but I've remained true to my goal. I want to be healthy.
I thought for a while I wanted to be thin. But I've come to realize that's not it at all, I want to be healthy. And all of those fabulous "quick fixes" have no attraction to me any more. I don't want to have it just disappear, I want to make a life style change so much so that I will never gain back the weight that I have now.
My last go around of weight loss venture, 6 months ago roughly, I lost 20 lbs. Not too shabby, but not near the kind of success I need to loose what I've got. I'm proud of that 20 lbs lost, although I did gain back around 8 of those 20. That's tough to see now as I'm getting into it again. Now I've only lost 12 lbs. It's tough.
Another thing I've come to the realization of is that life happens. Your life will never have the perfect moment to start your weight loss ventures. You will always have drama and "stuff" going on that cause your life to be hectic. You just have to make the commitment. If that's truly what is keeping you from going forth and jointing every other person in American (it seems) in loosing weight, then OWN UP TO IT! The worst enemy I've found is lying to yourself. You're lying to others, but they see the truth. You lie and don't see it. I say "you" because I know I've done it. I also know I'm not alone. Weight problems have taken the country by storm, and everyone has the way to loose it all, and keep it off. You might not know what your niche is in the weight loss game, but you'll never find it if you stop looking.
Every one is different, and what works for one, doesn't work for others. While it's the largest cliche in the book, it rings true. You are different than I am. What I do, probably, won't work for you. What I do hope you, or everyone, takes from me is that dedication and truth will carry you. Another cliche for the books, slow and steady wins the race. I've had blogs in which I wanted it to be for other people, I didn't really think about myself. I want to blog because it is my journal to the world. My footprint in the sands of time, if you may. If I end up loosing the good 140 lbs that I need to loose and inspire some people to get moving, awesome! But most importantly, I will be true to myself, who I am, my journey will be open to the world, as will my life. I'm an open book. I have nothing to hide... haha, that's not true! I have stuff to hide, simply because others judge. One day I'll come to term with what I hide and you'll know them too.
To tell you, invisible reader, about me, I'm a recent college graduate with a degree in English. I graduated with the intent to become a high school English Teacher. I will complete this dream! My situation right now doesn't allow for me to look for a job in this field, but I'm thinking that this time next year I will have my dream come true. I am most at home in the classroom teaching students. In the short amount of time I spent with them, they taught me so many things about life, about people. They helped me to begin my current way of life. To see the positive in everyone and everything. I also learned to see beauty in everyone. This helped me to grow and see everyone... and I mean EVERYONE as beautiful. That did allow me to see the beauty in myself. I will forever be grateful to those students for helping me to see that. They are all so wonderful and any one person, especially a teacher, that can see negativity in them, and to zero in on that, is hindering those students growth. They have flaws, but it is my job to help guide them to fix those flaws themselves. It's not my job to change them, but help them. In this I am absolutely passionate. I am so proud of the progress and growth the students undergo, I want to forever be apart of helping them. They have so much potential, I know that every single student that I help has the ability to change the world! I will encourage them non stop!
What you will read are my thoughts, my feelings, my heart, opened up and transcribed into words for you to read. I do not wish to taint or alter other's feelings on a subject, simply to give you my perspective. If you feel the need to throw hate or negativity at me, choose not to. I care for your thoughts, but not your negativity or hate. There are few things that I find out right atrocious one is lying, I can't stand it; the other would be hate or negativity. It's so negative! I choose to live my life surrounded by positivity, even if I have to make myself see the positive side. I don't want to be dragged down into the depth's of despair. I struggle with depression and anxiety issues, which I hope the weight loss will chemically help with, but I refuse to take drugs to fix something I can do myself and I refuse to allow others to take me down with them. I stand on my own two feet and do not rely on others to support me (except for my sweet husband, we stand firm together).
I suppose I've vented about my beliefs and my life enough for one post, and the first one at that. Here's to a wonderful relationship together.
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